Is Your Child Ready to Stay Alone?

When your grandchildren are left in a self-care situation, they often are faced with loneliness, boredom, and accidents. They also may be victimized and involved in delinquent behavior. How can you help them prepare for staying alone, and how can you know they are ready?

What You Should Know

You need to know if your grandchildren feel comfortable being home alone and have the level headedness to handle an emergency. There is no set age at which a child is ready.

Prepare your child by going over the following together:

• Their full name, address, and telephone number.
• Your full name and the address and phone number at your job.
• The name and phone number of your designated backup person.
• The phone number for emergency services.
• Not to enter your home if a door or window is open or broken.
• What to do if someone knocks on the door.
• The location of a flashlight in good working order if the power should fail.
• How to exit your home quickly in case of fire.
• The safety rules and routines of your home.
• Review basic first aid procedures, and put together a first aid kit.

After the above Preparation

Leave your grandchildren briefly (15 minutes) to run an errand. Build up the hours gradually by increasing the time you are gone. Upon returning each time, ask your grandchildren if they felt comfortable and what they did with their time. Encourage them to tell you of any fears they may have no matter how trivial.

Ask yourself:

• Has he/she handled brief periods of being left alone well?
• Will he/she come straight home from school?
• Will he/she be lonely or frightened by himself/herself?
• Can he/she manage simple jobs like fixing a snack and taking phone messages? Unlocking and locking doors?
• Is he/she prepared to handle an accident or emergency?
• Can he/she solve small problems himself/herself?
• Does he/she know when and how to seek outside help?
• Will he/she follow the rules set for him/her?

House Rules

It may be helpful to have house rules that everyone follows, whether you are with them or not. Suggested house rules might involve a check-in call whenever going somewhere, outlining the safe route home, rules for answering the telephone and door, what to do with visitors, telephone privileges, establishing boundaries, and appliance usage.

Where to Get More Help

A training manual to give kids the opportunity to learn and practice skills that can be used when they are home alone is available from Montgomery County Extension, Derwood, Maryland. It is titled “Kids Taking Charge” and may be ordered by telephoning 301.590.9630, or e-mail at ap28@uamil.umd.edu.